Talking like a Dom is an incredibly sexy move, but you need to know how to get it right. You want to be charismatic, not creepy; charming, not cheesy, and sensual yet sultry.
It’s a fine balance to strike, but with a few simple rules, it is one that you can become a master of—literally.
First of all, learn what words to say in the bedroom
We all have a variety of things that get us hot under the collar, and some which make our toes curl into the sheets. Some things however are pretty much universal—like praise and punishment.
Now, whether you want to get into BDSM is up to you, though it can be very enjoyable, but even if not, reward and punishment systems are a great way of spicing up the bedroom talk—with you in control.
Try rewards like “good girl/boy”, “that’s my sexy baby” and “Now I want to hear you moan”. Or jack up the heat with some mutually arranged insults. Let them know that they are your “b*tch”, “a filthy wh*re” or just a “sl*t”. A lot of people like to hear these words in the sheets, even if you wouldn’t say them in the streets.
Tell them they’ve been naughty and are going to make it up to you, or even take it on to role-playing. Perhaps put yourself in the shoes—and voice—of a brothel madam teaching her new protege, or a naughty nurse rewarding a patient, perhaps even something like a bandit and his saucy sidekick. The possibilities are limitless.
Here are a few phrases you might like to try:
- You’ve been bad, time to straighten you out
- I think it’s time that you learned your lesson
- On your knees and beg for my forgiveness
- Let me give you something as a reward
- You’ve done well, now do me
- How would you like to reward yourself for me?
- Come here, you’ve earned it
- Come and take your medicine
- Well, what are you waiting for? Come get it before I change my mind
Related Read: How to Flirt over the Phone
And then learn how to talk like a Dom out of it
Of course, you could find some kinky things to say in the bedroom, but there are also powerful words that you can use outside of it. Certain words hold power. By adding these dominant words into your everyday lexicon.
Try to use much firmer words, it’ll act like foreplay and allow you to live the dom life 24/7.
If you want to compliment their cooking, why not tell them they pleased you? That it almost deserves a reward? Or that it had you hungry for something else?
Extra examples include:
- You do please me
- That satisfied me
- Good girl/boy
- That’s worth a gold star
- Somebody is going the right way for a spanking
Don’t apologize if you’re not offending someone
Naturally, confidence is sexy. So if you say something that has them staggered (but not offended) run with it. Chances are that the reaction is a “wow” rather than a “what”? Take charge. Be assertive. Get what you want – and have the confidence to know you deserve it, unapologetically.
Be short and clear
Sometimes the best way to say something like a Dom is to say less.
A single word in writing is used to emphasize a point, and the same applies to spoken language. If you’re comfortable in that sub/dom role, then imagine how much hotter a request is when it is phrased like a command. Why say “please get on the bed?” when you can simply command, “bed”.
Some short commands you can give are:
- Lick it
- Suck it
- Take it
- Kiss it
- Kiss me
- Do it
- On your knees
- Try me
But it isn’t about shouting
To be in control you only need to raise your voice a little and if you are really good at what you do when you don’t even need to raise it at all. The important part is remaining firm and assertive. Once again it comes back to confidence and knowing who is in charge. Think about when you were younger and someone yells at you, it was because they weren’t entirely in control of the situation and it probably didn’t affect you for very long after they did it. Now consider how you felt when somebody said “I’m disappointed in you”. It probably lasted a lot longer. That’s because that level of clarity and calmness is impactful. So to talk like a dom, be firm and precise.
Take ownership of them and everything you do
A few words of ownership can be an incredible turn-on. Telling someone that they are yours or that they belong to you can get submissive hearts fluttering.
Tell them things like:
- You belong to Me
- Being your Master/Mistress makes me proud
- Having you makes me happy
- You please me my pet
- I’m glad you’re mine – not that I’d let anyone else have you
- You’re mine
- Your Master would like …
- Your Mistress needs …
- … for your Master / Daddy / Mistress
Get a pet name that suits you both
Having a name for your roles can strengthen the bond created by your dynamic. It also gives you something to address each other by to signify your dominant state.
Here are a few pairings:
- Sir, servant
- Sir, slave
- Daddy, darling
- King, wh*re
- Queen, pawn
- Master, servant
- Mistress, slave
- Owner, pet (or any variant like pup, kitten etc)
- Owner, kajira
- Miss, whelp
- Dom, sub
There you have it, a masterclass in how to be the master and talk like a dom. Whether you are a part-time player or live the life 24/7, these tips will serve you well, and may we say, it has been a pleasure to serve.