So last week, I signed off Twitter by telling everyone that I was going to try something a little wilder and more daring… and I did! Okay, so it might not seem daring to some of you, but I’m only just starting to figure out what I’m into and what’s out there on offer. For me, it was a big deal, with big rewards.
What I’ve been doing is frequenting that online chat room – the one that runs totally anonymously. You pick your username, you put in what you’re looking for, and it matches you up with someone random based on that criteria. I had a little bit of trouble filling out the bio, just because, wow, there is so much that I haven’t done!
But I managed, and it matched me up to this guy. I won’t say his username but, he liked to be called D*ddy… We hit it off instantly. I guess the algorithm works.
I explained to him I’d never done anything virtually before, and that I wasn’t very experienced even IRL. He was super sweet about it and we ended up just discussing what different terms mean in this sort of setting, and what I should keep an eye out for in the people I’m chatting with. Our timer ran out before we got to do anything, but I don’t think he minded.
Intrigued, I hit the button to match up with someone else right away. I’m keeping this one’s name under wraps, because we actually did mess around. And I know what you’re thinking – is it really messing around if you aren’t with the other person? Yeah, it is. Again, this was my first time doing something virtual. I probably wasn’t the best when it came to typing out my responses, and there was a point where he had me go three fingers deep that I just wasn’t able to come up with anything else to say! Or rather – cum up, I suppose. That was a good one. There’s just something about having somebody else’s involvement that get things so much hotter – wetter – better.
Regardless, after I was done (and him, so I must have got something right) I had the best night’s sleep in ages. You know when you’re in a relationship and you just let your body slump into sleep and sweet dreams with maximum comfort? It’s like that, but without all of the drama. Boyfriends, they tell you what to do and it’s annoying but online? I can sink into the sensuous sweet space of the submissive in my own terms and on my time. That first big online ‘O’ though, it really wore me out.
I got on again a few days later and tried again, after realizing that solo is fun but there’s nothing quite like that voice in your ear. Thanks speakers! There’s something erotic in not seeing the person that’s giving me orders too. It’s probably a little like being blindfolded, except without the anxiety that comes with not being able to see your surroundings. In fact, it made me think that I might even like to be blindfolded one day, if I ever find an IRL partner to have some fun with. Not that I’m actively looking – after that last break up. Talk about being turned off romance for a while!
Thankfully, sex and romance don’t need to actually take place at the same time. There are plenty of ways to get turned on in other areas, and they’re right at the touch of a button. I like to let them decide where my free hand goes…
Anyway, after messing around with a few attempts at getting something started, I managed to find this one guy. He was… a lot, but in a good way. He talked about me getting on my knees, and about giving me spankings until I was begging him to fuck me. Gosh… I can’t believe I’m sharing this, but that’s the beauty of the internet.
He talked about making me beg a lot; beg to be touched, beg to be fucked, beg to cum, and the whole time, calling me pretty baby. It was actually pretty hot. Especially with the security of knowing we were never going to meet, that it was all going to stay as virtual fun. There are a lot fewer repercussions when it comes to trying out BDSM-influenced sex online than doing it in person, though I’m rapidly learning that this is a pretty cool community, and they’re really considerate. So much so I wonder if one day I could go there. For now though, this is nice – more than nice.
It’s given me more confidence in just typing what I want, not overthinking how it might be perceived on the other end of things. I felt like I was able to let go with him. When I typed out a message about how badly I wanted to cum, please touch me, I didn’t feel embarrassed by it. I felt like he was paying me the utmost attention, and he was loving doing it. That was actually one of the best parts, that the focus was completely on what he was doing to me.
He didn’t want much out of my responses, just me clarifying whether I was actually doing what he said. That wasn’t like the chats before, where they wanted me to send a response to everything. This guy was totally in control of the scene, and the only thing he was interested in knowing was if I listened, or if he was pushing too hard.
The way it made me feel reading those messages… it was exhilarating! I’ve never had someone speak to me that way. As soon as we were off that chat I went and updated my bio, adding in some keywords to make it a little more risqué. I wanted to find other men that spoke that way – treating me kindly but also demeaning me, using me a little more roughly than anyone’s done before.
It was a success!
The next three times I matched up with someone, they were more than happy to take control of the scene and let me slide into place as a submissive. Thanks Tiger69 for making sure I knew that term! Turns out that it’s come in handy after all. The amount of attention I get in these chat rooms is enough to make me feel heady. I’m surprised that I’m not wet while typing this out! It’s really been that big of a success.
Anyway, one of the guys gave me their personal code. That means I can try and match up with just him later, by putting his code into bio search. I’m not sure that I’m actually going to do that, though. I like the anonymity of the site. I don’t have to worry about being held to a certain standard, and I don’t know much of anything about my partners when going into it. That’s a big turn-on for me, it turns out.
If I do decide to change things up, it might be the addition of a webcam. Not on my face, but directed at my body. Just so they can see that I really am listening to what they’re saying. Not to mention, I wouldn’t mind getting a compliment or two!
If I end up doing that, I’ll write up another post on what it’s like when your stranger can see you but you can’t see them. Until next time! Ciao! And feel free to leave me comments on what to ask these Sirs for next! Politely, as a good sub does.